So it’s 1:43 am and here are the things I’m thinking about and why I can’t sleep. And If all these things were browser tabs the Browser would crash

Website- Design and layout of the hyperstill store. Creating a widget for the hyperstill store. How to use AI and correctly describe and  account for all variables for a simple widget to have a 2 drop down menus for size and variations. What selectors are needed and how they function in order to be able to adjust all aspects of the drop down menus, horizontal, vertical, border, color, width, magin, padding, background. Connect the variable selection to the product image to change upon selection. Product designs, what products, many or few. My account and my cart pages. Registration pages. Create widgets for these. How many can I create. Just one? Many?

THE OFFICE – make more stuff, print pictures, fill frames. Hang stuff, hang frames, finish the little sun mirror, finish the fish bottle, cable management, get more table legs…. Etc……

RELATIONSHIPS – divorce trauma, relationship in general, discuss with therapist, am I ready?, scared, time, commitment, am I good enough?, confidence, waste of time, not a waste of time, everyone leaves as per history…. Etc……

BEDROOM – design a shelving system for the window nook, slat wall with shelving, height, width, the vent, corners not straight. Wood thickness, length, cutting, sanding, staining….. Etc…..

BEDROOM – Fix the dripping bathtub faucet, replace, turn off water, screws, caulking, cleaning, parts. New shower curtain?, wash on cold? Replace the towel hanger…. Etc…..

GARAGE – mud, tape, paint, get paint, supplies, cost. Waste of time. Project….etc…

OTHER – need band aids, work, career, life, death, aging, friends, talking, communication, upcoming concerts, vacation to BC, Juno Beach, parents, connection, avoidance, meds, teeth, dentist, ADHD, autism, consult, where, who, how……etc…..

This list really goes on forever and if in a web browser there would be a shit load of tabs open, and it would just slow down and probably crash.

My brain speeds up and just keeps going and adding more, and sleep slips further away, inspiration comes, motivation comes, Interest peaks, ideas, images, thoughts of creativity, things to look up, research, explore, photograph, places to go. By the morning when I finally crash it will all be gone.

Tomorrow I’ll accomplish a lot and feel it wasn’t even close to enough, I’ll waste my day hyper focusing on one thing and ignore the rest and again it won’t be enough. 

I’ll place how I feel in the moment over everything else, what I want at that second, I’ll make a decision without any thought to the consequences if there are any or not. It’s a struggle that can always easily be ignored because figuring it out is the hard uncomfortable part.

Continue this or try and sleep…..etc…..